While discovering that the Fox News description of Glenn Beck's show "provides an unconventional look at... everyday hassles" I thought, finally a teary-eyed Andy Rooney. But then I thought "Have you ever noticed that the product displayed above the description which is labeled Stem Cell Therapy is at odds with Beck's stance on Stem Cell Research? I mean, him being a Christian and all." So when I watched the advertisement posted below, I wondered, why the change of heart?
So I dug around to find out what Glenn has to say on the topic of stem cell research. Short story, he's against it. Long story, he spoke about Michael J. Fox on his radio show and how you shouldn't let the family of victims make decisions in the court room because wanting scientists to research Parkinson's Disease is purely emotional and if his daughter was raped, he'd want to cut the guy's head off. I mean, you know, you listen to the recording, but that's the gist of what I heard.
And: "Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research, and then some, fundamentally changing – remember, those great progressive doctors are the ones who brought us Eugenics. It was the progressive movement and it science. Let’s put science truly in her place. If evolution is right, why don’t we just help out evolution? That was the idea. And sane people agreed with it!
And it was from America. Progressive movement in America. Eugenics. In case you don’t know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! A perfect person."
But if stem cell researchers are Nazis, why would he allow a product called Stem Cell Therapy to advertise on his show? And then I realized that HIV, Parkinson's Disease, diabetes, infertility, paralysis... had nothing on the most unforgivable career killer of them all... wrinkles. And that looking "up to 15 years younger starting the very first day" is the most important research that this nation can conduct. You know the old adage: To age is human, to greatly slow down the process of aging is divine.
Rep. Massa admitted that it was "inappropriate" to grab a male staff member while saying "What I really ought to be doing is frakking you." He's right, Klingon is a much more "appropriate" language of choice for sexual harassment.
I said "Hey, Andy, you should do a reenactment [or enactment or whatever] of this" and he did. So he gave me an Inspired by credit. Which is-- Well, you should watch it and then you'll see why it's a wonderful choice of words in conjunction with this topic.
Screen capture of an ad I clicked on on Drudge Report:
"The Second Coming of Christ. What does this mean for America? In addition to hard-hitting investigative reports by Ed [Wasn't he the mayor of NYC?] Koch... Ben [Bueller? Bueller?] Stein... David [Rush has a bother?] Limbaugh." Hard-hitting reports in this case means angry.
I can only assume that the next issue will include The Lost Book of Glenn.
Glenn Beck’s new website is The 912 Project. It’s Craigslist for Republicans. He announced it on his special show yesterday “We the People: You Are Not Alone.” He wants to unite us, but only the 9/12 us, not the 9/10 us.
It’s an obvious use of the “day after 9/11” concept that is often used in Beck’s conservative circles. Meaning that the terrorists changed everything and we can’t live with the relaxed attitudes of yore.
Beck’s 12 values as of 9/12 are: Honesty (through fake tears), Reverence (honoring our forefathers by rejecting the government they formed), Hope (not the Obama kind), Thrift (don’t forget to buy my Hate U T-shirt and magnet. It’s a must have), Humility (humble enough to make this list of “my” values for you to follow), Charity (with caveats), Sincerity (and fake tears), Moderation (by going overboard), Hard Work (at getting choked up), Courage (to be crazy in public), Personal Responsibility (of Fox News for putting a lunatic on the air), Gratitude (to myself ‘cause I’m the best).
And the 9 principles as of 9/12 are: 1. America is good, (What’s my definition of America? It used to mean the post 9/11 you must support the Bush administration situation and the citizens I agree with but now it just means the citizens who agree with me) 2. I believe in God and he is the Center of my life, (god is a Christian god, Muslims worship some foreign type god and I used to be an addict so if I don’t fear god, I relapse. Can I get an amen?) 3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday, (people should know every little thing that I’m thinking) 4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government, (my daughter can’t have an abortion without my consent, and don’t mention my sacred divorce, that’s in the past) 5. If you break the law, you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it, (I’m afraid the terrorists at Gitmo are going to get a fair trial in the US) 6. I have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results, (suck it underprivileged children, your parents are dumb) 7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable, (Instead, I want Glenn Beck to mandate my charity-see #6 of the 12 values) 8. It’s not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion, (unless the President is a Conservative and it’s 0 to 7 years after 9/11 and then I must stand blindly behind my President and keep my opinions to myself) 9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me. (So if I break the law, then I shouldn’t pay the penalty—Wait, principle #5. Am I above the government or are they below me? Oh, right, I’m a top. Then I won’t pay my taxes.)
So strap on your tennis shoes and cut off your balls, we’re starting a cult. As an added bonus if we act now, we get to watch his mental breakdown accompanied by Chuck Norris via satellite. I hope he sells a lot of Total Gyms.
Glenn Beck is Howard Beale from “Network.” Not the “Mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore” Howard Beale. No, Glenn’s not angry, he’s scared, wimperingly scared. He’s the evangelizing “news man” portion of Howard Beale as evidenced by the video below minus the exposing of his AND the media’s lies for ratings.
Let’s take a look at Glenn Beck’s new logo.
It’s a knock off of the political cartoon that Benjamin Franklin drew as a representation of the “disunited state” of the colonies.
The slogan beneath it read “JOIN, or DIE.” So Beck, like P. Diddy before him is borrowing from BenFran in a sloppy way. P. Diddy went with “Vote or Die!” which was a bit of an overstatement. And Beck went with “UNITE, or DIE” in order to promote disuniting with the government.
And before that the original Gadsen Flag had an intact snake which read “DON’T TREAD ON ME” a much more likely slogan for what Beck wants but he went with Franklin’s ‘cause he’s a brand name and Beck believes in the superstition that a snake cut up into pieces will reunite and come back to life at sundown… sundown on 9/11. Which if you go by the Jewish way of starting the day, is the beginning of the 9/12 Sabbath.
Beck wants us to unite against the government. Franklin wanted us to unite AS a government.
Glenn Beck talked about the existence of FEMA Camps on Fox & Friends in order to promote the topic for his own show later that evening. He even want so far as to say he can’t debunk FEMA camps. But then on his show later that day he said that the research isn’t complete and that it’s irresponsible not to debunk it so we’ll have to check back in a couple of days and he’ll explain it to us then. The most heartwarming part was when he told us that he “lost sleep” over something that doesn’t exist, like his sanity.
Then Ron Paul finally comes on the show to explain that there are fears that we have FEMA concentration camps but he hasn’t seen any. I think we can all come up with one: the New Orleans Super Dome during Hurricane Katrina. But the point is that Glenn is teasing a tease. He teased people earlier to watch his show and then when they came to watch his show he said “let me get back to you.” It’s what we in the sitcom biz call Schmuck Bait.
You plug that your main character is going to die on this week’s episode and everyone comes out to watch to see what will happen. Of course your main character won’t die on a sitcom. Sure “Lost” will kill off a character so you better tune in but a sitcom just sends them off to college or their mom’s house because they want to do movies. And predictably Beck didn’t have any evidence to prove or disprove their existence but if you stick around he’ll get Ron Paul to come on and say the exact same thing.
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