Saturday, December 10, 2011


Here is today's winner for best heckler style comeback in the comment section of an article about the guy who shot up Sunset and Vine yesterday.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Post-Apocalyptic Thanksgiving

Little known fact, this salty crane was not the inspiration for the sitcom character Frasier Crane.

I found the ground in Salton Sea to be mushy on the inside and crunchy on the outside. Like a middle aged hippie who slowly but surely ruins trailer parks.

I'm not sure that your engineering proposal is the most sound solution for the situation but I'll take it under advisement. Also, you should go ahead and run a spell check before your next publication.

Little known fact, this Rusty Trailer Roof was not the inspiration for the B-52s lyric "Tin Roof, Rusted"

Widely known fact, this is what Indian Jones' fridge should have looked like after it was nuked.

The short term destiny of every fish in the Salton Sea.

Isn't it beautiful how close to the surface a dead pelican floats?

Don't do it bird, don't you get in that water.

The cacti insisted that I photograph them from their backlit side.

All right already, I get it. No means no.

A little known fact, The Trouble With Tribbles episode of the original Star Trek series was not based on these cactus balls.

Trapped bird beaks.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Occupy LA

And he's definitely not happy about it.

Vintage demonstrator.

Seems like kids all look the same these days.

Does Will Ferrell know you're using his-- Of course he does. You always do.

Max Headroom. Never forget.

Cleaning up the streets one layer of skin at a time.

Establishing shot.

These people probably aren't sleeping in tents. Not with that hair.

"LA is the new Benghazi" Only when the Lakers win.

Looks like Real Steel's going the guerrilla marketing route.

Just like the 49ers, the 99ers stencil their shirts with baby blue paint poured from a latte cup.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Too Soon?

Which stands out to you first in this photo that I took at Nordstroms tonight: the Kids' Wear sign or the Kids' Wear nipples?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Mistaken Identity

In the delusional caption category, the I-don't-know-what-words-mean hands down winner is, Erika who describes her style as "bad-ass."

Thursday, September 22, 2011


During the Republican Presidential Debate this evening when asked whom amongst the people on the stage the candidates would pick as their running mate, Rick Perry said that his perfect VP would be "if you could take Herman Cain and mate him up with Newt Gingrich." Which allowed me to discover that one, Perry takes the term "mate" WAY too literally. And two, that Herman Cain rocks Newt's hairdo WAY better than he does.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Beat Politics

Those politicians who emerged from beneath the long hair after the rebellious years to lead this country into its endless nightmare of forgotten war were never that which they seemed but that which made them belong... or be longed for.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


I thought to myself, while gazing at a satellite dish on someone's balcony today, they should really make decorative covers for these things. Now team logos make a lot of sense but if you're not into sports, what are the options? Apparently monster cat heads are a potential eyesore option to cover up your monster eyesore.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Presidential Peru

I can't decide which quote I like better from this article about the Peruvian presidential race: "Pinata of corruption" or "It's like choosing between AIDS and terminal cancer."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Arabic Reflections

The sun's at it again. Yesterday it was catalyzing photosynthesis in my water fountain, this time it's writing Arabic on my ceiling.

Specifically, the letter "Nuun".

And then possibly the rings of Saturn.

So I guess I can expect something to happen on Saturn around noon, but it's 12:45 right now. Must have missed it.

P.S. I recorded this video while that guy dumped his drink on that baseball player. Bit of a Bartman, don't you think?

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Viral Change

Three slaves sought asylum with the Union, a Libyan woman sought to tell her story to journalists. Someone has to step forward, as it is not politicians who bring change upon us but it is us who bring change upon politicians. Or at least, that's what this week's poll says.


It was a wild, yet formal relationship.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Trisomy 21

Other than getting the spelling AND the number of Chromosomes involved in "Mongoloidism" wrong, I can find no other problems with this craigslist posting.

MC Homicide, the dopest up and coming rapper in Suffolk County needs Mongoloid rappers for a Rap-Off competition.

Recently acquitted from his 7th murder trial, MC Homicide is ready to show the world his skillz by defeating over 100 Mongoloid rappers in rap-off at the Red Lobster in Times Square next week.

Just off the road from a tour of tri-state area group homes, his new smash hit, "Mongoloidz Ain't Shit" has already gone triple platinum in South Jersey and now its time to show the world what he can do

You must have flow, a good look and all but one of your intended chromosones.

Send your headshot and myspace link for review.

To view a clip of MC Homicide dissing a ho, click here:

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Trend Spotting

The alcohol monitor anklet has expanded it's influence to the slightly derivative mic pac on your shoe. Very practical, CNN, and oddly one of the only times that your plethora of graphics aren't covering up the money shot.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Chinese Professor

Wow, this ad just played on CNN.

The main actor must be just as proud of himself for playing an evil Chinese professor as the guys who specialize in playing those incredibly racist Muslim terrorist roles. If he wanted to sell out, couldn't he have just played a bad driver in an Allstate commercial, or something?

Tea and Rape

The good news is, it looks like Fox News can report the Libyan struggle from the breakfast buffet. The bad news is, due to this desperate woman being drug out of a hotel lobby full of journalists, who thought the hotel staff were regular hotel staff and not members of Gaddafi's regime, they now know who's serving them their coffee. Way to blow your cover, bus boys and desk clerks, way to blow your cover.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Baby Doll on Concrete

Look, everyone's got their shortcomings. Sure I've got mittens for hands but Ken's got a lump for a dick so I think it all kinda evens out. Now, go tell Woody I'm still out here waiting for my fucking rescue, wouldja?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Sardine Times

Looks like due to it's countless sacrifices for the good of animal and man, god finally decided that the only thing he was going to take up in The Rapture was the oxygen in the Redondo Beach Harbor saying that "Redondo Beach's Oxygen is always sacrificing it's brotherly pair bond for the trinity of toxin removal. CO2, mofo's. C. O. 2."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Welcome to The OC, bitch

This video of an anti-Muslim protest brings a little less teen drama a little more Tea Party guana to the phrase "Welcome to The OC, bitch." While one is decidedly less cool than the other, the meaning remains the same in that the use of the word "welcome" implies quite the opposite that you, in fact, cannot handle what The OC is all about and should therefore leave. And what is it that The television OC and The Tea Party OC are all about? Privileged White People.

And so I ask, these can't-you-see-that-you-look-like-you're-protesting-Brown-vs-Board-of-Education-integration style protesters, don't you have an anti-worker's rights rally to attend in Wisconsin or something... bitch.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Middle East Uprising Timeline

If I can just sum up how this whole Middle East uprising started, I guess I would have to begin with the time Gaddafi sent his Libyan attack force to the past in order to wipe out Doc Brown so that he couldn't play the bad guy in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" which was the movie playing in a suburban Tunis Drive In Theater that inspired the Tunisians to rise up against their crooked cartoon overlords which in turn inspired the Egyptians to rise up against their crooked cartoon overlords which in turn inspired the Libyans to rise up against their crooked cartoon overlords. But **SPOILER ALERT** Doc Brown survived. So all of that happened and here is where we find ourselves.

In a nutshell.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Sex Makes People Uncomfortable

It was amazing to hear the deafening silence that Bill Maher was met with last night on his show when he said that the Middle East needs a “sexual revolution.” Of course he followed it with comments that lumped all Arab men together as sexist, which is not going to help your argument. I have dated Muslim and non-Muslim Middle Eastern men and I was met with the same “Not Without My Daughter” prejudices that are best summed up by what one Pakistani guy said to me “Be careful, Iranian guys are violent.” They’re like any other guy, some are, some aren’t and then there’s Charlie Sheen.

But the point that he made about a “sexual revolution” is the one that I would like to concentrate on. It is what happened in the United States in order that women could achieve equal rights. I believe the word “sexual” is what caused the panel to freeze as he had not mentioned any of the other generalizing statements as of yet. I took him to mean a gender revolution, not a go out and whore it up 1969 style revolution. Though he might have meant that but I’ll keep going along the lines that he meant a gender revolution because that is by all means what needs to happen. Women need to gain the right to make their own decisions such as whether to drive or not, whether to vote or not, whether to leave the house without the escort of a male relative or not.

During World War I when women began wearing the pants of a factory worker they then went on to wear the pants at home, gaining the right to vote two years after the war was over. I understand if you want to be modest in your dress, including covering your head, people are very hesitant to speak on this topic but you should have the choice to do so or not to do so, that is freedom. I also support the right of students in France to wear the hijab to school if they want. It goes both ways and women are always at the center of these arguments because they are the most easy to identify as a “certain type of Muslim.” Because, let’s face it, if wearing a beard means you’re a fundamentalist, then these hipsters have a lot of explaining to do.

But I was thoroughly surprised that the panel didn't get on to the topic of the lack of basic rights for women in some Middle Eastern countries, instead they responded to his generalizations and made, as he said, "false equivalencies" to the hardships that women still experience in the United States. Yes, I face a lot of sexism in my industry but I am in my industry (barely), I wear pants to work, and I always, always vote.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Everybody's Elton John These Days

The Grammys really took a chance pairing up Cee Lo Green for a duet with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog last night.

Go Iran, Get Your Egypt On

I'm just going to slowly ball up this anti-Ahmedinejand poster and hopefully-- Oh, shit!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Working in Memphis

On my first film job I went on location to Memphis for 6 months and the question that always came up amongst the crew was "Been to Graceland yet?" "Yeah, it's much smaller than I imagined." But the place that you really need to experience is the Lorraine Motel where Martin Luther King was assassinated which has been turned into a Civil Rights Museum. It's most surreal to stand inside the last motel room he would ever inhabit and look out the window at the spot where he fell, the emotion of this museum is absolutely unique. But yeah, the jungle room does have floor-to-ceiling shag carpeting.