Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Trisomy 21

Other than getting the spelling AND the number of Chromosomes involved in "Mongoloidism" wrong, I can find no other problems with this craigslist posting.

MC Homicide, the dopest up and coming rapper in Suffolk County needs Mongoloid rappers for a Rap-Off competition.

Recently acquitted from his 7th murder trial, MC Homicide is ready to show the world his skillz by defeating over 100 Mongoloid rappers in rap-off at the Red Lobster in Times Square next week.

Just off the road from a tour of tri-state area group homes, his new smash hit, "Mongoloidz Ain't Shit" has already gone triple platinum in South Jersey and now its time to show the world what he can do

You must have flow, a good look and all but one of your intended chromosones.

Send your headshot and myspace link for review.

To view a clip of MC Homicide dissing a ho, click here: http://vimeo.com/19667835

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Trend Spotting

The alcohol monitor anklet has expanded it's influence to the slightly derivative mic pac on your shoe. Very practical, CNN, and oddly one of the only times that your plethora of graphics aren't covering up the money shot.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Chinese Professor

Wow, this ad just played on CNN.

The main actor must be just as proud of himself for playing an evil Chinese professor as the guys who specialize in playing those incredibly racist Muslim terrorist roles. If he wanted to sell out, couldn't he have just played a bad driver in an Allstate commercial, or something?

Tea and Rape

The good news is, it looks like Fox News can report the Libyan struggle from the breakfast buffet. The bad news is, due to this desperate woman being drug out of a hotel lobby full of journalists, who thought the hotel staff were regular hotel staff and not members of Gaddafi's regime, they now know who's serving them their coffee. Way to blow your cover, bus boys and desk clerks, way to blow your cover.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Baby Doll on Concrete

Look, everyone's got their shortcomings. Sure I've got mittens for hands but Ken's got a lump for a dick so I think it all kinda evens out. Now, go tell Woody I'm still out here waiting for my fucking rescue, wouldja?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Sardine Times

Looks like due to it's countless sacrifices for the good of animal and man, god finally decided that the only thing he was going to take up in The Rapture was the oxygen in the Redondo Beach Harbor saying that "Redondo Beach's Oxygen is always sacrificing it's brotherly pair bond for the trinity of toxin removal. CO2, mofo's. C. O. 2."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Welcome to The OC, bitch

This video of an anti-Muslim protest brings a little less teen drama a little more Tea Party guana to the phrase "Welcome to The OC, bitch." While one is decidedly less cool than the other, the meaning remains the same in that the use of the word "welcome" implies quite the opposite that you, in fact, cannot handle what The OC is all about and should therefore leave. And what is it that The television OC and The Tea Party OC are all about? Privileged White People.

And so I ask, these can't-you-see-that-you-look-like-you're-protesting-Brown-vs-Board-of-Education-integration style protesters, don't you have an anti-worker's rights rally to attend in Wisconsin or something... bitch.