Saturday, March 14, 2009

The 912 Project AKA Glenn Goes Beckshit Crazy AKA I’m Trying to Wrestle the Spotlight Away From Rush Limbaugh

Glenn Beck’s new website is The 912 Project. It’s Craigslist for Republicans. He announced it on his special show yesterday “We the People: You Are Not Alone.” He wants to unite us, but only the 9/12 us, not the 9/10 us.

It’s an obvious use of the “day after 9/11” concept that is often used in Beck’s conservative circles. Meaning that the terrorists changed everything and we can’t live with the relaxed attitudes of yore.

Beck’s 12 values as of 9/12 are: Honesty (through fake tears), Reverence (honoring our forefathers by rejecting the government they formed), Hope (not the Obama kind), Thrift (don’t forget to buy my Hate U T-shirt and magnet. It’s a must have), Humility (humble enough to make this list of “my” values for you to follow), Charity (with caveats), Sincerity (and fake tears), Moderation (by going overboard), Hard Work (at getting choked up), Courage (to be crazy in public), Personal Responsibility (of Fox News for putting a lunatic on the air), Gratitude (to myself ‘cause I’m the best).

And the 9 principles as of 9/12 are: 1. America is good, (What’s my definition of America? It used to mean the post 9/11 you must support the Bush administration situation and the citizens I agree with but now it just means the citizens who agree with me) 2. I believe in God and he is the Center of my life, (god is a Christian god, Muslims worship some foreign type god and I used to be an addict so if I don’t fear god, I relapse. Can I get an amen?) 3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday, (people should know every little thing that I’m thinking) 4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government, (my daughter can’t have an abortion without my consent, and don’t mention my sacred divorce, that’s in the past) 5. If you break the law, you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it, (I’m afraid the terrorists at Gitmo are going to get a fair trial in the US) 6. I have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results, (suck it underprivileged children, your parents are dumb) 7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable, (Instead, I want Glenn Beck to mandate my charity-see #6 of the 12 values) 8. It’s not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion, (unless the President is a Conservative and it’s 0 to 7 years after 9/11 and then I must stand blindly behind my President and keep my opinions to myself) 9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me. (So if I break the law, then I shouldn’t pay the penalty—Wait, principle #5. Am I above the government or are they below me? Oh, right, I’m a top. Then I won’t pay my taxes.)

So strap on your tennis shoes and cut off your balls, we’re starting a cult. As an added bonus if we act now, we get to watch his mental breakdown accompanied by Chuck Norris via satellite. I hope he sells a lot of Total Gyms.

Glenn Beck is Howard Beale from “Network.” Not the “Mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore” Howard Beale. No, Glenn’s not angry, he’s scared, wimperingly scared. He’s the evangelizing “news man” portion of Howard Beale as evidenced by the video below minus the exposing of his AND the media’s lies for ratings.

Let’s take a look at Glenn Beck’s new logo.

It’s a knock off of the political cartoon that Benjamin Franklin drew as a representation of the “disunited state” of the colonies.

The slogan beneath it read “JOIN, or DIE.” So Beck, like P. Diddy before him is borrowing from BenFran in a sloppy way. P. Diddy went with “Vote or Die!” which was a bit of an overstatement. And Beck went with “UNITE, or DIE” in order to promote disuniting with the government.

And before that the original Gadsen Flag had an intact snake which read “DON’T TREAD ON ME” a much more likely slogan for what Beck wants but he went with Franklin’s ‘cause he’s a brand name and Beck believes in the superstition that a snake cut up into pieces will reunite and come back to life at sundown… sundown on 9/11. Which if you go by the Jewish way of starting the day, is the beginning of the 9/12 Sabbath.

Beck wants us to unite against the government. Franklin wanted us to unite AS a government.


Anonymous said...

RULE 5: "Ridicule is man's most potent weapon.

RULE 10: "If you push a negative hard enough, it will push through and become a positive.

RULE 12: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.

Anonymous said...

well DUH, the logo is like Ben Franklin's. He did that on purpose.

And you missed the whole point of any of this.

Anonymous said...

You need some serious history lessons. Education is freedom, indoctrination is tyranny. It will hurt at first but life is a marathon, not a race.