Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Mormon Endowment Ceremony on Big Love

Big Love’s going to give us a look inside the Mormon temple. In the usual attempt not to get publicity, the LDS church has caused way more publicity than this show usually gets. The showrunner released this message in response to their concerns: “We therefore took great pains to depict the ceremony with the dignity and reverence it is due.”

Reverence it is due? I did the research for the Bill Maher documentary “Religulous” so you know where I’m going with this. Mormonism is a knock off of Christianity just like Christianity is a knock off of every other early polytheism. There’s a treasure hunting Joseph Smith who finds success as a prophet by making up a story about finding golden plates in the ground which no one else ever saw and are just plagiarizisms of the King James Bible and View of the Hebrews. He’s very L Ron Hubbard in his copying of any old thing laying about and passing himself off as a prophet.

Joseph Smith was a seer trained to locate buried treasure “put his face over the hat to block the light, and then "see" the sought-for information in the stone's reflections.” View of the Hebrews was published five years before the Book of Mormons by someone other than Joseph Smith. And therefore we often said during filming that Mormonism is a religion based on a dime store novel.

So I’ll just list off some “facts” that most people don’t know about Mormonism:

Native Americans sailed here from Israel in 600 BC.

The Garden of Eden is in Jackson, Missouri.

Here’s the part that freaks out Christians “Jesus Christ was not begotten by the Holy Ghost. (“Journal of Discourses”, Vol. 1:50-51, Brigham Young)

GOD LIVES ON KOLOB - KOLOB is a planet nearest to the throne of God. Abraham 3:2 “And I saw the stars, that they were very great, and that one of them was nearest unto the throne of God; … 3 …the name of the great one is Kolob, because it is near unto me, for I am the Lord thy God (The Book of Mormon)

WE ARE GODS - Doctrine and Covenants 132:19 “And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, …Ye …shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—… 20 Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. (The Book of Mormon)

The Caffeine thing came about from an interpretation of D&C 89:9 in the Book of Mormon about not drinking hot drinks which was interpreted to mean tea and coffee which was then extrapolated into cola drinks in "Q&A: Questions and Answers," New Era, Oct. 1975, 34. So a magazine told Mormons the evils of Coca Cola.

They baptize themselves in the name of those of us who are not Mormons. Including dead people like Jews who died in the Holocaust. Whether you know it or not, you may very well have already been baptized. “Big Love” showed this practice a couple of episodes ago without anyone saying much about it. One of the wives’ mother’s died, she was not a Mormon so one of the wives was baptized for her. No one went into an uproar then because no one was paying attention.

Willard Marriott, the chief of the hotel of the same name, said about the Magic Mormon Underwear (that a Mormon must wear under their clothing) during a “60 Minutes” interview “I was in a very serious boat accident. Fire--boat was on fire, I was on fire. I was burned. My pants were burned right off of me. I was not burned above my knee. Where the garment was, I was not burned.”

So we’re all gods. And god lives on another planet. And black people are cursed, once the curse is gone they will turn white. Thank god indeed. I’m just surprised that more people aren’t making fun of Mormons and their space god shit like they do with Scientologists. Here’s the religion in easy to digest cartoon form and the “60 Minutes” interview about the merits of fire retardant god cotton. It’s like the black box of underwear. They should make their whole outfit out of it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You really have no idea of what you are talking about. You just sound ignorant. Making fun of someone's religion doesn't make you better. Thats what I find so funny about other religions. They go to church and talk about the mormons. Guess what.. the mormons go to church and actually learn about scriptures and don't put down other religions.